Jo Ind's Memories of Bliss / Love God - a response

One of the compulsory courses is "Sexuality and the Pastoral Encounter." One part was to read various things and respond in writing for discussion. I read the above chapter - certainly provocative.

My response may or may not make sense, perhaps it's of rather narrow appeal. If you like it, thanks; if not, put it down to the hour or so I spent downing a capuccino with an extra shot in Heffer's while reading and then writing.

We all believe in some high god these days:
True atheists are odd and hard to find.
But what name shall we choose to name the one
Who sits in bland approval of the world,
Or else, who drums celestial digits and
In whispered words recruits his terror squad?

Can God be "love"? and if so, be this love
Whose drumbeat calls each wallflower to dance?
Is Christ a flirt? And is the blood he shed
A pheromone that wakes our loins to him
So that (we know not why) we lie with him
Upon that hill, beneath that spreading tree?

I'll tell a story of a tragic fall:
Of Eden lost and lovers under curse;
Of Christ who came to mend the broken way:
"Love one another." Yes, we could, in part.
Full freedom needed ways we all could join
The sacred cult of infertility

I'm sorry, Jo. I think you've traded in
A shining mirror for a muddy pond.
God's love is vaster than our minds can grasp;
Unbreakable - and faithful to the last;
All-powerful - yet tender, chaste and true;
Known partly till Christ comes to claim his bride.

My Fair Ridley

Sadly my camera let me down this year so no Youtube, but here by popular (!) request are the lyrics to the Parsons/Edwards mini-musical, with apologies to Messrs Lerner and Loewe...

If you don't know 'My Fair Lady' then you should. Buy it! Or search on Youtube and you'll find the originals of these songs by various worthies. Or just try the links I've put in for you.

The scene opens to a slightly bewildered-looking person who has just received some news...

I Could Have Failed My BAP ("I Could Have Danced All Night")
[BAP=Bishops' Advisory Panel, three days away leading to advice to your Bishop whether you should be recommended for training to ordained ministry in the Church of England]
BAP, BAP, I could have failed my BAP
I could have called the Bishop 'Dodgy Dick'
Job, job, I could have kept my job
But now I've got to train to be a vic

I could have failed my BAP
I could have failed my BAP
What made me such a fool?
I could have run away
Gone off on holiday
But no, it's back to school
I'll never know what made me so convincing
I'm like a crab caught in a trap
I only hope the rest were smart and flunked the test
I could have failed, failed, failed my BAP

[Job's comforters appear on cue]
I understand, friend - but it's all planned, friend
Don't cry for milk that's spilled

You didn't fail your BAP
Now there's no turning back
It's time for you to go
Where would you like to train?
We want to fill your brain
With stuff you don't yet know

And now I know what makes it so, so frightening
I'm off to vicar factory
At least I get to choose
What have I got to lose?
Because I passed, passed, passed my BAP

BAP passed, it's time to visit theological colleges. So many to choose from. It's a gamble. Will luck be a lady? Hmmm, I should have written this as Guys and Dolls, shouldn't I?

Wouldn't it be Rid-er-ley ("Wouldn't It Be Loverley")
All I want is a room somewhere
Small and dark and I have to share
One good and one duff chair
Oh, wouldn't it be Rid-er-ley

Lots of chocolates and all fair trade
Lots of lunches just like home made
And I'd be poorly paid
Oh, wouldn't it be Rid-er-ley

Oh, so loverly readin' lots of that theo-lo-gee
I'd be happy I'm on B, C, E, F or even G ("What about H?" "Nah, miserable bunch")

[Assorted Ridlebeests are espied about their joyous daily routine]
"Someone said morning prayer all wrong"
"Must we learn yet another song"
"The basement showers all pong"
Oh wouldn't it be Rid-er-ley (Rid-er-ley)
Rid-er-ley (Rid-er-ley)
Wouldn't it be Rid-er-ley


Cut to a few months later. Student life has begun, and bewilderment has increased. Still, there's plenty of time for reflection afforded by the journey between the Cambridge Theological Federation colleges' rooms, conveniently strung out around the Inner Ring Road. As the sun twinkles romatically off the juggernaut that just tried to run you down at Westminster College roundabout, oh! what a beautiful morning it is. (Oklahoma!, that's what I meant to rip off I mean pay homage to.)

Off Round The Ring Road Again ("On The Street Where You Live")

I have often walked down this street before
I am tired and I am grumpy and my feet are sore
It's compulsory to do an SCP
So I'm off round the ring road again

A contemporary church, that's what we all seek
We've got Books of Common Prayer and we are learning Greek
And it's very odd, there's no time for God
'Cos it's off round the ring road again

And oh, the wonderful feeling
Just to know he's somewhere, not far
But now my poor head is reeling
No-one told me Ridley doesn't have a bar!

Once I thought I knew all that I believed
But a lecturer has told me that I was deceived
I'm going round the bend: Jesus was my friend
Now I'm off round the ring road again

And oh, the wonderful feeling
When we come together to praise
I know when I am kneeling
That he's chosen me to serve him all my days

I've been broken down: that don't bother me
If they laughed at the Messiah then they'll laugh at me
Now this lecture's done, and it's ten to one
So I'm off round the ring road again

[SCP=Social Context Placement, time spent outside study in an unfamiliar environment]

All good things come to an end... If you don't blot your copybook too badly, you'll be ordained, somewhere. Your sending diocese may have something for you, or you could be 'exported.' In regular life, companies export things people want. The Church, of course, works differently: dioceses export unwanted ordinands to seek their fortune elsewhere... Hmmm, perhaps I should have written this as panto, not Eliza Doolittle but Dick Whittington?

I’m Getting Deaconed in the Summer ("I'm Getting Married In The Morning")
I'm getting deaconed in the summer
If someone wants to ordain me
I've been exported
Must get it sorted
Get me to a curacy

I've got to clear off in the summer
"Where?" Well, you'll have to wait and see
Profiles I'm reading
Mostly misleading
Help! I need a curacy

What can I handle? Will I be go...
...ing up the candle or snakebelly low?

I'm a Leaver - leaving in the summer
What have I learnt? What will I be?
Rural team cleric?
Urban evangelic?
How do you choose a curacy?

I need to buy some medieval kit
There's an allowance - don't spend every bit
(Save some for the bubbly)

[Majestic finish]
I'm getting deaconed in the summer
This ship is searching for a See
Ridley's done my brain in
Three years more training
Are waiting when I start
Are waiting when I start
Are waiting when I start my curacy

So, friends, it's been a low trick. Three years, or two years, or one year of training leads to... three or four years of training. Bah! Humbug! I knew I should have written this as A Christmas Carol. Sigh. As Tiny Tim observed, God bless us, every one.

Liminality

Well, I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've used that word.

A time of transitions. For Cambridge ordinands, term began last week, and I have now completed two 'Federation Intensives,' namely Race Awareness (excuse the dated sounding name) and Godly Play.

Having worked in the Caribbean, and been had similar corporate training, my expectations for this course that is compulsory for all at some stage were a little mixed. The issue of racism is clearly a live one, but it is all too easy to end up with a less than useful guilt-fest, exposing authentic and imagined guilt.

In fact I both enjoyed and, I believe, benefited from this course, given a light touch but in no way superficially treated by Bev Thomas. What did I learn? Probably the most valuable outcome for me was finding a few new ways into understanding the issues from a more rounded perspective than I have had access to before.

One piece of that was the well-known-to-many-but-not-me "Blue eyes/brown eyes" exercise. If you know it, read on. If not, grab this link: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/divided/etc/view.html

Next came Godly Play, looking at and working with a specific system of religious education - OK, that makes it sound deadly, which it wasn't - and introducing the topic of spiritual development in children. This topic seems to stir up strong feelings one way or another, although because the term sounds rather generic it's hard to know how directly people have experienced what we saw, which was an environment, methods and resources (related to the Montessori tradition), not simply a way of telling stories.

We were led by Rebecca Nye, an academic turned practitioner who first brought Godly Play here, and had a great time, mostly at floor level getting a child's eye view of the process.

I could go on, but I'm more inclined to direct you to the Godly Play UK website, and do a little more reading and reflecting myself. I will say that I was impressed by what I saw, and the approach made sense of some of the joys and the frustrations from my own experience working with younger children in a church context.

(Oh, and frustratingly I used some response time in our complete session to start a poem on journeys, but I think I must have left it behind, bah, I need to go ahead of the admittedly weak - sorry! - 'Turkey.')

This blog also proves that my 'new' laptop seems to work. The old one has a serious problem with its screen, and it turned out that a second hand laptop was more viable than a repair. This one came via eBay, and I confess to a little nervousness, but so far so good...

The normal teaching timetable starts tomorrow, so this is the calm before the storm. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...

Holy Rollers, Batman

Have you ever felt that so much is going on you'll never assimilate all the impressions? It could be an unsettling experience, but it's more a happy daze at this stage!

As the termcard lectures get going, I'm starting to get more of a feel of how my time will be spent. As a mathematician by first degree, the whole business of essay research, planning and writing at University level is new to me, but the whole system is geared to getting us all used to it. The atmosphere is friendly, with people from a wide range of backgrounds.

So let me tell you a little about the course I'm on, the University of Cambridge Bachelor of Theology for Ministry (B.Th). It's a vocational degree - similar for instance to a Bachelor of Education (B.Ed) - designed to provide both the academic and practical knowledge a prospective Christian minister needs.

Teaching is delivered by the Theological Federation, which I've mentioned before, as well as by the Divinity Faculty. In the case of Faculty lectures, the resulting work is again within the Federation.

Each of the Federation Houses (Ridley Hall is one of these) has its particular denominational allegiance and distinctive emphases, which result in the specific experience of students (mainly but not exclusively ordinands like me) attending each. So, for instance, there are Ridley-specific activities - some are compulsory, some are optional. Happily there are Directors of Studies making sure that course structures overall and the programme for each individual meet the requisite needs of course and church.

Some of the work is study-based, some is experience and reflection-based. In the latter category is the Pastoral Portfolio, a substantial piece of work resting on actual activities we undertake and our theological reflections on them. Speaking personally, this is the least familiar but probably the most vital area of preparation for ministry, as we have the opportunity now to work in unfamiliar contexts under supervision and with joint reflection and so develop our abilities (not least our lifelong learning abilities) in real-life situations of need.

So now let me give you an idea of the pattern of a typical week and of life between terms. (I may be wrong on all sorts of important details, though!)

Weekdays in the University term, mornings start with a service of morning prayer followed by timetabled lectures and seminars, afternoons are mainly geared to study, then some evenings involve specific commitments. Saturday is generally kept free, and on Sundays we will be involved with the specific church to which we're attached (we've all been visiting prospective attachment churches and this is being finalised over the next couple of weeks).

We get an extra period before and after the University term when there are additional lectures, other short courses and so on, plus several vacations will be punctuated by activities, notably mission, church placement (a block period of weeks to live and work in another place) and in some cases block period Social Context Placement.

Oh, yes, and of course at various times there will be exams. Mustn't forget that particular blessing.

My general impression is that, as we expected, it's demanding in time without destroying the possibility of family life in the process. And Cambridge itself as a backdrop and workplace is a very pleasant bonus.

There. Now you know all I do. And you're perhaps getting a sense of why at this rather early hour I'm now more than ready for bed.

Good night :)

My new home from home

It's great to be settled in. Past the half way mark through the first week seems like a good moment to gather up some first impressions.

The overwhelming sense I have of Ridley so far is of a genuine and warm feeling of community. The student body is very mixed in terms of age, experience and background and in some contexts I can imagine that leading to all sorts of awkwardness, but I see every evidence to the contrary here.

Of course, we're still in a slightly artificial time. Our term has begun, as has some of our teaching, but the typical pattern of life is still a week or two away.

We had the Federation introduction session today. This was hardly the first time we've mixed as a Federation - the New Testament Greek introductory course has plenty of people from all around, for instance - but it was the first time we've gathered specifically to meet one another.

We all (as far as I could tell) co-operated by mixing like mad. My report is: there are plenty of people at least as odd as me, we're all oozing goodwill and ecumenism, and if we keep it up there's a very real danger we'll catch a glimpse of the one holy, catholic and apostolic church.

If we do, we may well get to change the world.

Those labels - Evangelical, Catholic, Liberal, ...

Labels worry me. Once there's a word - or a choice of words - in common currency, there's a division. Jesus prayer, "that they may be one, as we are one," suggests that we should be very, very cautious about factionalism.

Yet the glory of Anglicanism has been that over many generations it has united - imperfectly yet actually - what could be thought of as the two sides of the Reformation coin, catholicism and evangelicalism.

There is, perhaps, not too much interest outside the confines of the Christian faith in the distinction, although 'evangelical' seems to be becoming something of a media boo word, used as a shorthand for rabid, fundamentalist, far-right etc. And this seeps into church culture too. It's so easy, and in many ways so comfortable, to seek the party line and, for the most part, to toe it.

Let's be honest. The pay-off is less that we feel we agree with each other, more that we know "they" are wrong about this... and that...

When we lived in the Caribbean, one of the strange-seeming facts of life was that a vast proportion of people headed off to church on Sunday (and indeed Saturday), and this was to many, many denominations and individual churches including at least one essentially founded to oppose/annoy another.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the Federation works out day-to-day. Its ethos of "roots down, walls down, bridges out" is exciting - to bring Anglicans of every churchmanship, Methodists, Orthodox, United Reform Church and Roman Catholics into common structures seems from my nearly-there vantage point an exciting demonstration of valuable ecumenism.
Is it too much to hope, that in my lifetime I might see the unity of the visible church increase and the divisions truly turned into areas of discussion not bones of contention?

I would be happier to own a label that felt more like 'red haired' than 'Man Utd' - a distinction with a difference, yet no flag for battle.